th-irisqueenie.bs.com ♥
Linksphere.
.Friday, October 31, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : 能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了
im sick again . so nabe go wrk . shag .
he didnt know hw sick ii am .
yet hiish throwin temper at me .
tinkin dat ii purposely dun wanna find hiimh .
my heart ish cryiin , coosh hiieh dun understands me at all .
buhh yet , ii cant feel any tears frm my eyes .
am ii tired ob cryiin ?
or ii haf no more tears to cry .
ii haf to b strong .
for the sake of preciious .
buhh im a girl too .
ii need a someone to b ther to hold me wen im feelin low .
my heart broke in2 millions ob pieces .
im very very tired .
tired ob quarrellin .
who wil b ther forr me ?
tmr til tues , ii wil b wrkin full shift frm mornin til closin .
gonna b more & more tired lerh .
ii af no choiice .
ii haf to earn more b4 no much tyme .
coosh preciious due date ish next yr .
ii mus b strong no matter wad .
next wed ii wil b startin my part tyme klass lerh .
ii haf to wrk & study at the same tyme .
dear god , pls allow me to b strong .
ii know nw adays many ppl turn to b siick .
buhh nw , ii cant afford to b siick .
pls bless me wit good health .
jus good enuff to let
preciious to b healthly .
im willin to do or gibb up anythin forr my dearest preciious .
ii left wit
no lovee frm hiimh .
ii jus wanna dotee n lovee my preciious .吃不能吃睡不能睡没有了你全都不对我都学不会把爱敷衍用笑容来把眼泪催眠笑不能笑哭不敢哭人不像人鬼不像鬼朋友都说这不过失恋但我却连呼吸都胆怯能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了我痛得快死了却无法把你忘了能不能不爱了爱情它太痛了我痛得快死了却无法把爱割舍...我不能睡...我不能够不能够不爱了
L爱ve ends @9:33 PM
.Tuesday, October 28, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : g0nna prepare f0rr wrk agaiin =D
g0nna prepare myself f0rr wrk agaiin . stress . ther g0es my 0ff day agaiin . haiiz .
yst mit up wit my huilin , she acc0mpanied me t0 pasta mania . hhaas . had my lunch , chatted & catched up s0me stuff , wen sh0pping ard , den 0ff she went , & ii went back t0 sh0p t0 wait f0rr hubby . shagg . wait f0rr hiimh damn l0ngg . den ii wen
BHG sh0pping n0rr . siianx . stupid 0ff day . hhaas . yst pegg w0rk wit hubby , den 0ng al0ne at village . damn it wn ii wrk , 0ng 0was free to g0 sp0t check , 0was say sh0p dirty , yst
DEEPAVALI , ii wen dwn sh0pp , 0ng nv g0 .. stupiid lo . hhaas . den afte dat abt 10+ waited pegg & hubby t0 cl0se sh0p , den hubby b0ught me to
THE CATHAY . den ther n0 sh0w , s0 cabb dwn to ciine . watched
MAX PAYNE . quite niice , we reached ther ard 11+ . den we watched 1.35am sh0w . we was like ... dunn0 h0w t0 spend 0ur free tyme lo . walkin here & ter til tymes up . shagg .
saw Fabian . buhh nv called hiimh . hhaas . den afte sh0w , cabbed h0me . washed up , & sllp . & n0w g0iin f0rr wrk lerh lorr . wad a day .
hubby = stringray& he nv allow me to eat stringray .he t0ld e he make me happy awhile , coosh yst hubby say preciious ish a baby girl .. buhh many ob my frens all say cfm ish b0ii . & im w0nderiin .. arghh .. buhh nvm lahs . girl or b0ii all the same . n0 matter wad , ii wil survive wiit preciious =D
L爱ve ends @1:16 PM
.Monday, October 27, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : ii made the stupidest mistakes.
many up & dwns . ii swear ii really cant tak it or hold it . buhh stil ii stil haf to edure .
ii made a stupidest mistakes . ish to trust dat he haf changed frm the past . & nw , im totally wrong . coosh everythin changed . he wasnt dat sweet anymore . all tiis thans to hiis beloved bro & mummy . ii jus dunno why . why cant they jus stop breakiin us up . we haf nort been quarrel for almost 2wks . den suddenly , coosh ob their stupid acts , we endin up quarrel almost everyday . im tired . im really tired . im stil holdin on nort bcoosh ii nid hiimh . its bcoosh ob my preciious . ii dun wann my preciious to haf a broken family . buhh nw , afte eery quarrel , it seems like everythin ish fated . its fated dat ii wil b a loner forever . ii deserve no man to love & dote ..
im very depress , & ii know its turnin in2 depression . buhh ii jus cant stop the way he scolded me during every quarrels . im jealous the way he treated others so well & yet nort me . imjealous dat he nv scold any1 so badly buhh me . im goiin to kii siao anytyme . buhh im really tryiin my best to avoid all these . it hurts me . ii miss the hiimh , whom treated me so well everyday b4 he went in DB . afte he released , he changed . everything changed . ii cant feel the lovely hiimh . im so alone nw .
he promised to go out wit me , coosh its a very longg tyme since we can off tgt . ii haf been wrkiin non-stopp thrug the whole week . & ii did nort complain . yst we ended up quarrel over lil tings , & he wen to wrk & leave me at hme .
ii really feel like letting go . buhh my heart cant allow me to do dat . why ? bcoosh ob preciious . everything ii do nw , ii wil scare dat ii hurtmy preciious . ii tried to gibb in all bcoosh ob preciious , hw long more ii can endure ? ii cant find my frens , coosh ii dun wann dem to worry & he wont really allows me to go out . ii cant find mummy coosh she haf her tings to do . who can ii find ? ii tried talkin to hiimh , yet we ended quarrellin again . ii jus niid abiit more loved . who wil gibb me dat ? im human too . ii haf feelins too . so ii cant vent my temper or anger , ii jus gort to hurt myself . ii haf been hurtin myself , ii rather feel paiin den enduriin it inside my heart . coosh ii feel suffocated . ii cant breathe anymore . ii niid more space .
my part tm klass startiin on the 5th ob nov . gonna prepare myself frm study & wrk . hopiin ii wil handle tings well . ii miss myself . ii miss everything iiused to haf . ii miss my frens ..
L爱ve ends @3:26 PM
.Wednesday, October 22, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : happy annii =DD
HAPPY ANNI , my Hubby .
lovee lovee .
lazy to updae .
gonna sllp soon .
tmr gort wrk agaiin .
i jus love my lyfe , my hubby =DD
L爱ve ends @1:06 AM
.Tuesday, October 21, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : started wrkiin agaiin =D
yappx . been wrkiin for a few days lerh . currently wrkiin at hubby's wrk pllace . hhaas . new wrk frens , new lyfe , new schedule ob lyfe . n0rt so b0red & em0ti0nal liaos . hhaas .
dearest fren , pls takiie a look at tiis n0tes . hhaas . ii haf change my number once agaiin . very s0rriie f0rr the tr0ubles . buhh really n0 ch0iice nahs .
ii l0st my handf0niie , thanss t0 my itchy hands . sunday niight quarrel wiit hubby . den suddenly cant c0ntr0l , as my hand was h0ldiin my handf0niie , s0 under anger , ii threw my handf0niie to the ground . at 1st hubby dunn0 wad ii thr0w s0 didnt b0ther . buhh afte awhile , wen ii ran 0ff , he den realiise it . buhh by the tyme he realiise it , my handf0niie alrdy l0st . 0nly my keychaiin , back c0ver left niia . lols . n0 ch0ice , s0 yst b0ught a new handf0niie , LG SECRETS . hhaas . pr0miise w0nt anyh0w thr0w liaos . b0 hua lorr . shagg =x
been naber attend t0 klass . to tiired & m0rniin siickness iin the m0rnin mahs . buhh ii realii c0nsider ha0 lerh . if my transfer appr0val cant b appr0ve , den b0 biian , ii wil change back to m0rnin klass . lols . ii miiss my sh0ppiin days . ii wanna makan PASTA MANIA leiis ..
L爱ve ends @7:40 AM
.Sunday, October 19, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : 为你而活
my mind ish in a mess .
smtymes ii dunno why am ii living iin tiis world .
ish it worth anythin ?
or ish it a test in lyfe ?
so many tears ii haf drop , so many unhappiness came in2 my lyfe .
my lyfe ish stil in a mess .
mummy said dat im gonna b a mother soon .
askin me why am ii stil so confused in lyfe , so sad everyday .
ii cant answer her questiions .
my heart ish in a mess .
rmbiin , few days back , haf sm lil quarrels wit hubby .
ended up emily & alviin , her bf .
consultin me .
ii feel so ashamed .
ii feel so bad .
lettin so many ppl worry for me .
buhh any1 really know wads on my mind ?
ii jus wann happiness , ii jus wann peaceful lyfe .
n0thing else .
ish it very hard ?
gettin marry , wil ii haf my happiness ?
wil ii b loved ?
2ways forr me to go thru everythin in my lyfe .
to ENDURE or to GIVE UP .
ii chose ENDURIN .
wil ii face everythin ?
cn ii managed to overcome everythin ?
yst wen to watch niight moviie wit hubby .
its been long siince we last watched .
we watched the CONNECTED .
lols . damn funny niice show . hhaas . lovees .
PS . Jeslyn , my beloved nuer . hhaas . ii dunno its y0uu . coosh ii didnt wear contact lense . ii tot who . lols . sorriie . next tyme saw me , come to my front n talk to me . hhaas .
L爱ve ends @3:12 AM
.Monday, October 13, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : happy siia =D seeiin my preciious gowiin up each day
happy siia . yst stay over at hubby's ah yi hse agaiin . coosh 2day we niid & wante to go check up . hmm ii wake up ard 8am+ . tks to the babiies again . lols . den prepare , waiit hubby wake up den off we go . hmm . wen to K K Hospital . took bus over frm CCK . lucky gort straiight bus . hhaas . hmm . den go register , took tests , ultrascan & c doc .. & afte dat tks to hubby , wann me paiin , so he told the doc 2day straiight do blood test . den stupiid lorr . the nurse say my veiin too small , my right hand nort enuff blood , so took my left hand blood too . damn paiin nor . buhh nv cry lahs . seeiin the nurse twiist & turn & the 2 bid tube ob blood . OMG =DD
hmm . & the ultrascan was good . hubby wen in wit me . lols . saw my preciious baby lil hand & leg kickiin . wahs . so happy . hubby oso happy . hhaas . den go c doc , talked wit doc abt my pregnancy . den afte dat go tak my medicines & vitamins lerh . took shuttle bus to bugiis , ac c hubby go hiish wrk place den ii go hme & rest . nw starts to feel bad again . ii gonna go rest lerh . tata =x
L爱ve ends @11:08 PM
.Saturday, October 11, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : tired & shagg
backiie hme . stay over at hubby's ah yi place .
cant realii slp well . so wake up very earli ..
helped to lok afte e 5kids . hhaas . all babiies siia .
hmm . yst met up wit crystal n her bf ard 8pm forr dinner .
hhaas . niice diinner siia . damn long nv eat til so long n spiicy food lerh .
lol . hmm . afte dinner acc hubby finished wrk , den walked to MUSTAFA find Tingda & buy sm tings den headed backiie to their ahyi's hse .
too lazy to blog nw . tata =D
L爱ve ends @8:03 PM
.Friday, October 10, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : happiest day .. ii tink ..
hhaas . wake up ard 2pm+ .
wen to cook my own lunch & prepare my aii xiin shapgettii forr hubby .
hhaas . later goiin over to hiih camp ther to fetch hiimh & surprisse hiimh .
cooh he owassay ii weak . den lil tings oso cant do .
so ii wanna prove hiimh wrong .
coosh at least ii cn prepare my own cooked lunch for hiimh .
hhaas .
hope he likes it .
coosh ii know hubby dun tak spiicy food .
so ii prepare tomatoes & potatoes sauce forr hiish shapgettii .
hmm . shagg .
didnt go skool .
coosh very xiin ku . so hubby asked me to stop my skool for smtyme better .
ii wasnt feeliin good , as its my mornin siickness .
duriin pregnancy ish so xiin ku & tough .
yappx . yst told mummy everythin lerh .
ii criied . coosh she didnt scold me .
buhh she say as long ii happy cn liiaos .
hmm . ii tiink mostly wil b a small weddin bahs .
coosh my health wasnt very good .
cant hold it too biig too .
buhh im waitin to wear my lifetyme once de WEDDING GOWN =D
ying & lin say they wanna b my bridemaids .
den help me pull my weddin gown frm bhind .
lols . imgainin they pull off everythin . hhaas .
it was the joke we had went our trip to JB =x
L爱ve ends @3:38 PM
.Thursday, October 09, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : tell me why...
its been a couple of months since you left my heart behind cryin` all my tears out as my eyes becomin` blind nothing feels the same cuhz i`m so used to being held friends would be concerned of me but never would i tellthat i was gettin` hurt by the only one i ever loved the one who was created to be sent to me from abovei still don`t know what went wrong, or why we had to end not only were you my baby but you were my best friend and now it seems like i`ve lost everything i ever had everything worth livin` for, flyin away from my hand slivin` everyday, questioning myself the same thing you left without a reason, left me here reminicin
remember the days we used to share when you told me that always nd forever you would care now you left me alone, holding on to the fone hopin` things would go bacc to how it was long ago tell me why what made you decide to leave me bacc tell me why there was nothing that you, you didn`t have tell me why
bacc when we was younger, we both each made a promise tellin` each other that we would always be honest of how we felt, what we thought, and soon that day came you took my hand, asked me out, and walked together in the rain we spent hours on the fone, we were close like white on rice playin around, asking me to one day be your wife when they saw you, they saw me standing right next to you matchin` everyday, matchin` clothes, matchin` hat and shoes always dedicating songs we hear to each other always thinking that all of those days would last forever tell me why everything had to come to this you dont understand, there`s so much things that i miss
remember the days we used to share when you told me that always nd forever you would care now you left me alone, holding on to the fone hopin` things would go bacc to how it was long ago tell me why what made you decide to leave me bacc tell me why there was nothing that you, you didn`t have tell me why
whatever happened to the promises you made whatever happened to the future you wanted to create now it`s all down the drain, all the time we spent, wasted whenever we had problems, we had always fixed and saved it so why the change of heart, tell me why are we apart when you told me before that you loved me since the start tell me why you suddenly wanna leave our past behind baby all i`m asking you is to please tell me why(tell me why, tell me why)
theres so much pain for me to hide inside but you don`t even notice so theres no use to hide i miss the feeling u gave me wen you looked into my eyes and now when i remember the moment all i do is cry the day you left, baby, you took my dreams with you i can`t even rebuild them cuhz i`m standin alone without you stop giving me all the stories, cuhz i know those are lies jus open your heart, look into my eyes, and tell me why
remember the days we used to share when you told me that always nd forever you would care now you left me alone, holding on to the fone hopin` things would go bacc to how it was long ago tell me why what made you decide to leave me bacc tell me why there was nothing that you, you didn`t have tell me why remember the days we used to share when you told me that always nd forever you would care now you left me alone, holding on to the fone hopin` things would go bacc to how it was long ago tell me why what made you decide to leave me bacc tell me why there was nothing that you, you didn`t have tell me why
______________________________
when JB yst wit my two loveely .
yappx . been longg , siince ii last went .
yesh , ii changed my blog's songs again .
my current playiin song so niice & meaninful .
lol . hmm . wen JB . didnt buy anythin .
onii helped hubby buy ciig . lol .
ate our lunch at malaysia's SWENCENSE again .
hhaas . wasnt eatiin well . coosh chii bu xiia .
lols . afte dat wen sopp ard . nth much . dunno why .
den came back spore ard 4pm+ , den wen to Lin's hse to wait her changed .
actuali was goiin to town wit dem , buhh last miin ii didnt .
didnt wiished to mentions .
hmm . wen to bugiis to find hubby .
suddenly very emo .
msged lianx a .
lols . & ii dunno why kiip cryiin .
den ii was alone at bus stop .
criied til gort an office lady offer me a tissue .
lols . lok so much like a clown . haiis .
buhh reali . ii dunno wad happen to me .
buhh Tingda told me its normal .
coosh inside my body , hermones ish changiin .
so very easily emotional de .
ii reali hope ii can overcome everythin .
alrights . yahs . hubby was right .
ii wann my preciious to b a happy baby , so ii cant b too emo .
ii mus stay happy & lok at the bright side .
arghh . im tryiin hard .!!
& afte dat , wen to CCK , wen to find hubby's ahyi .
chatted abt our prob . den decision oso made lerh .
so hopiin tings wil b fine .
me & hubby wil overcome everythin .
& ii wil learn to b a good mummy , good girl ..
ii live for myself . nort for others .
so tose who c me no up de , ii wil prove wrong to youu .
okays . ii lovee myself , my frens , my hubby & my baby ..
ii tink ii cant kiip runnin the facts .
so ii haf told mummy wad happen .
& nw waitin for herr to come hme .
& ii shlld have a good talk wit her lerh .
hopes tings wil b okays .
& as forr my studiies , mayb ii wil stop for awhile or changed to part tyme .
coosh my health wasnt doiin good .=(
bcoosh ii drink too much cold water .. arghh .
ii mus kiick away my bad habits .
my laziiness , my crybaby attitude , my emo attitude & no COLD drinks =xx
L爱ve ends @6:18 PM
.Tuesday, October 07, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : c0nfused l0vee
im c0nfused & scare & l0nely .
ii dunno why ii feel tiis way .
h0pe its n0rt my depressi0ns .
ii dun reali kn0w wad ii wann ,
im reali c0nfused .
smtymes ii find l0vee seems so c0mplicated .
ish all tiis a test or jus my stupiid tinkin ?
perhpas its my imaginati0n bahs .
ii jus wann everythin settle .
& ii dun ask f0rr m0re .
ii jus need m0re l0vee & caree .
buhh ii dun feel any at all .
ii feel so lonely .
tearin over every lil tings .
smtymes im tinkin ,
why ish those who jus passed away at their lil age de ,
g0rt so much c0urage t end their lyfe .
& cant ii ?
if everythin ends , wil ii b happy den nw ?
wil ii feel l0veed afte dat ?
im so so c0nfused ..
all my frens re busy wit their own tings .
no1 kn0w im l0nely .
why ?
ish tis my revenge ?
or im stated to b l0nely f0rever ?
You took your love away
Too fast
Left no chance to say
Look back
Now I know the truth
-It makes it easier,
Maybe when time goes by,
I'll understand
Let's pretend that
I've moved on
And I'll tell myself
That life goes on without you
-Open my eyes and look deep inside,
I run away
You threw it all away
So blind
Pushed me far from you and your life
Now I know the tears
Wont relieve the loneliness
Maybe when time goes by
I'll understand it
Let's pretend that
I've moved on
And I'll tell myself
That life goes on without you
-Open my eyes and look deep inside,
I run away... ...
yappx . tmr im goin to JB wit my pretty lovees .
yahs . finally all the misunderstandin ish bhind us .
let bygones b bygones bahs .
im n0rt dat xiiao qii too .
buhh no matter wad ..
pls note dat ..
no matter wad ..
ii nid ur LOVE n CARE too .
hao bu hao =x
L爱ve ends @3:05 PM
.Monday, October 06, 2008 ' ♥
♥ : sorry for the long lost updates
hmm . sorry for the long lost updates nahs . hmm . recently haf been busy wit wrk & acc my baby. lols . so NO TYME to blog nahs . many tings happen ups & dwns too . buhh finally its over . ii made a choice forr ymself & hiimh . hmm . anw , wiished us good lucks nahs =D
cheers . yst was my last day at wrk . coosh its a f**kin liar wrk place . cheated my salary . & ii tot ii was suppose to b a part tymer onii . yet ii haf to wrk everyday & ot . shagg . hmm . yappx . baby released frm DB lerh . so happy . the day he released til nw , everyday wit hiimh . forever so sweet de hiimh . hmm . ii oso 4get wad recently happened . buhh 1 tiing im gonna announced ish dat ... ...
IM GETTIN MARRIED =D hhaas . miight seems surprise horr . yappx . buhh me & baby decided hao lerh . afte ROM we goiin apply hse frm HDB . & we'll b our good DADDY & MUMMY lerh . yappx . am
pregnant . its a very long tyme ago de tings . baby & ii decided to jus ROm & small buffet & weddin gown onii . hhaas . th latest my weddin date ish christmas . buhh wil arrange tings fast too =xx
ii hope its nort a flash dream onii . anw , baby ish very very sweet & niice to me . im tryiin my best to let every1 knows dat too . coosh ii know hw sm othe ppl feels between me & hiimh . yahs . past he miight b very bad . buhh nw , he changed . he lovees & dotees me =DD
muackxx . wil update my latest news asap . chech it out soon =DD
L爱ve ends @8:06 AM
Pass my DIPLOMA
My Blogshop.
