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many up & dwns . ii swear ii really cant tak it or hold it . buhh stil ii stil haf to edure .
ii made a stupidest mistakes . ish to trust dat he haf changed frm the past . & nw , im totally wrong . coosh everythin changed . he wasnt dat sweet anymore . all tiis thans to hiis beloved bro & mummy . ii jus dunno why . why cant they jus stop breakiin us up . we haf nort been quarrel for almost 2wks . den suddenly , coosh ob their stupid acts , we endin up quarrel almost everyday . im tired . im really tired . im stil holdin on nort bcoosh ii nid hiimh . its bcoosh ob my preciious . ii dun wann my preciious to haf a broken family . buhh nw , afte eery quarrel , it seems like everythin ish fated . its fated dat ii wil b a loner forever . ii deserve no man to love & dote ..

im very depress , & ii know its turnin in2 depression . buhh ii jus cant stop the way he scolded me during every quarrels . im jealous the way he treated others so well & yet nort me . imjealous dat he nv scold any1 so badly buhh me . im goiin to kii siao anytyme . buhh im really tryiin my best to avoid all these . it hurts me . ii miss the hiimh , whom treated me so well everyday b4 he went in DB . afte he released , he changed . everything changed . ii cant feel the lovely hiimh . im so alone nw .

he promised to go out wit me , coosh its a very longg tyme since we can off tgt . ii haf been wrkiin non-stopp thrug the whole week . & ii did nort complain . yst we ended up quarrel over lil tings , & he wen to wrk & leave me at hme .

ii really feel like letting go . buhh my heart cant allow me to do dat . why ? bcoosh ob preciious . everything ii do nw , ii wil scare dat ii hurtmy preciious . ii tried to gibb in all bcoosh ob preciious , hw long more ii can endure ? ii cant find my frens , coosh ii dun wann dem to worry & he wont really allows me to go out . ii cant find mummy coosh she haf her tings to do . who can ii find ? ii tried talkin to hiimh , yet we ended quarrellin again . ii jus niid abiit more loved . who wil gibb me dat ? im human too . ii haf feelins too . so ii cant vent my temper or anger , ii jus gort to hurt myself . ii haf been hurtin myself , ii rather feel paiin den enduriin it inside my heart . coosh ii feel suffocated . ii cant breathe anymore . ii niid more space .

my part tm klass startiin on the 5th ob nov . gonna prepare myself frm study & wrk . hopiin ii wil handle tings well . ii miss myself . ii miss everything iiused to haf . ii miss my frens ..

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10/09/1988
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Mummy-to-be

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